Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Glenn Beck = Asshat


Aside from being a full-on batshit crazy asshat, Glenn Beck has NO knowledge of history, particularly as (mis)applied to the American cause:
"...Texas says go to hell, Washington, which by the way has been said before. I believe it was Davey Crocket...it’s about time that somebody says that again."

Errr...Glenn? Texas was breaking away from Mexico. MEXICO, YOU F**KING D**CHEBAG!
MEX - I - CO !
YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF IGNORANT SH*T! GET YOUR F**KING FACTS STRAIGHT YOU P*SSY-A**-NEVER-SERVED-IN-THE-MILITARY-MILITIA-WANNABE-TEABAGGING-DIPSH*T!

(cough) Sorry.

I feel better now.

edit: oh, and, by the way, it's "Davy" Crockett. (no e...and he preferred his given name: David)

...it's all over but the celebrating: Judges rule Franken winner! (sigh: Moleman to appeal)


Three judges soundly rejected Norm Coleman's attempt to reverse Al Franken's lead in the U.S. Senate election late Monday, sweeping away the Republican's claims in a blunt ruling Coleman promised to appeal.

After a trial spanning nearly three months, the judicial panel dismissed Coleman's central argument that the election and its aftermath were fraught with systemic errors that made the results invalid.

"The overwhelming weight of the evidence indicates that the Nov. 4, 2008, election was conducted fairly, impartially and accurately," the panel said in its unanimous decision.

The panel concluded that Franken, a DFLer, "received the highest number of votes legally cast" in the election. Franken emerged from the trial with a 312-vote lead, the court ruled, and "is therefore entitled to receive the certificate of election."

Speaking to reporters outside his downtown Minneapolis condominium, Franken, flanked by his wife, Franni, said he had "no control" over what Coleman does next but said he would urge his opponent not to appeal, which would delay his certification. "I am honored and humbled by this close victory," he said. "And it's long past time we got to work."

In an interview earlier in the day, Coleman said he believes "thousands" of rejected votes should have been counted.

Coleman legal spokesman Ben Ginsberg said the ruling denies many valid votes by applying a stricter standard to determining eligible ballots than local officials applied during the recount.

"This order ignores the reality of what happened in the counties and cities on Election Day in terms of counting the votes," Ginsberg said, asserting that Coleman must appeal to assure that valid votes are counted. Coleman's lawyers have 10 days to file an appeal with the Minnesota Supreme Court.

But experts who read the panel's 68-page ruling say it effectively attacks some of the very arguments that Coleman would use on appeal.

"It is the kind of opinion that is unlikely to be disturbed on appeal by either the Minnesota Supreme Court or the United States Supreme Court," said Richard Hasen, an expert on election law at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles. "The opinion considers the major arguments made by Coleman and rejects them in a detailed and measured way."

click here for rest of story...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Pope, extra ribbed

Mark Morford does it again. sj

Pope, extra ribbed
Benedict says condoms make AIDS worse. God recoils in shame...

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, April 3, 2009

What sort of wretched deity is this? What sort of tormented, clenched God must you believe in to cause you to openly promote ignorance and death for the sake of power and ideology and fear -- always, always a deep fear -- of love and sex and basic human connection?

Let me try to be a little more specific: Is it not some form of strange self-torture, a kind of brutal spiritual immolation, to believe that God is this gloomy, obsessive micromanager, so petty and vindictive regarding what you do with your body that you/he will let people die for the sake of it? Do you have any sort of answer?

Shall we ask the pope?

"The 81-year-old Benedict doesn't mingle with reporters individually but stands before them in the rear section of the plane flanked by aides, and responds drily to the questions."

What a touching image. It's just one of the takeaway lines I took away from the recent story about Pope Benedict and his first, "troubled" trip to Africa, about how he generally handles -- or rather, mishandles -- questions about the grand scheme of worldly things like the soul, war, the role of God in everyday life and whether or not he might be some sort of dangerous underworld automaton sent from the Netherrealms of Ignorance to inflict guilt and desolation upon the world.

It must be true. It's a question I'd want to pose, anyway, were I standing at the back of that papal aircraft staring down this dour and ideologically archaic man who seems very intent on not merely cementing slippery human divinity in the hard concrete of 1500, but also shoving it off a bridge to watch it sink to the bottom, just for good measure.

Perhaps you think I'm out of line. Perhaps you think I'm being too hard on the ultraconservative, disengaged 81-year-old pontiff.

Perhaps you did not read about how Benedict once again condemned condom usage in AIDS-ravaged Africa, apparently one of the last continents still deeply susceptible to the Vatican's insidious, pre-historic sexual ideology, and apparently the one major region that's singlehandedly keeping the church in the news these days because, dear God, are the rest of us not just about done with this sort of myopic sexual hysteria and dangerous misinformation? It would be nice to think so.

But wait, there's more. The pope did not merely say, as the church has yawned for a thousand years, that any form of contraception is wrong. Would that he were so quaint and easily dismissed.

Benedict actually took it a shocking, deadly step further and announced to sick, poor, dying Africans -- 22.5 million cases of HIV and counting fast -- that condoms could actually make AIDS worse, and that everyone should, instead, do what he and his sour band of unhappies have done for the past 2,000 very repressed years and simply not have sex, unless you are married and unsoiled and maybe not even then, because if there's one thing his very cruel God will not tolerate, it's humans doing things with their bodies in any way other than what some vindictive bishop scribbled into an insufferable rulebook about a thousand years ago.

Still out of line? Are you thinking, come on, the pope might not be all that hip to the basic health issues of this lifetime, but so what? He's largely irrelevant to the lives of everyday Catholics. He's just a surreal figurehead, a sad spectacle parading through the streets of foreign cities in his gold-dipped shoes and a scepter made of tears. Who cares about his harmful lies, really?

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps we shouldn't really give a damn for places where people are dying of diseases that could, at least in part, be easily prevented by simple sexual information and education, but which are instead being made worse by the appalling lies of someone who claims to have the Almighty on speed dial. What does it matter? Don't we have larger issues to worry about? Have you seen the housing market?

Perhaps you wish to point out all the good the church does in the world, the various charities and outreach programs and shelters for the poor and so on. And you know what? You are absolutely right. There are some lovely people at play in the fields of the lord, even if that lord is a bit of a domineering, patriarchal megalomaniac who's never really satisfied.

There is other good news: Some bishops already operate in open defiance of the Vatican's ignorance and publicly disagree with the pope's silly pronouncements. What's more, plenty of Catholic charities already freely distribute condoms to those living with AIDS (though of course, not to schools or to healthy sinners).

Very well then. Perhaps we should look at it differently, and use Benedict as our grand reminder that the general Rule of Divinity still holds true: the more you claim to be some sort of inviolable authority on things sacred and holy, the less you are to be trusted and the more we should all hope and pray for your urgent obsoletion. Simple enough?

(Cross reference the pope with, say, the Dalai Lama, widely considered to be one of the most divinely luminous beings on the planet, a man who claims, well, absolutely no divine authority whatsoever. His only claim? A deep humility shot through with astonishing kindness and love, a man who is always learning, always open to new ideas, the fluid and illusive nature of this life. What a contrast).

But don't just take my word for it. Listen to the foreign press -- American media being generally too timid and nervous to dare criticize the church too aggressively -- where response to the pope's condom stance was one of open-throated disgust and outrage.

"When any influential person, be it a religious or political leader, makes a false scientific statement that could be devastating to the health of millions of people, they should retract or correct the public record," The Lancet, one of the world's most respected medical journals, said in an editorial.

Or maybe you agree more with former French prime minister Alain Juppe, who said that "this pope is starting to be a real problem" because he lives in "a situation of total autism." Or maybe German Green European deputy, Daniel Cohn-Bendit, who seethed, "We've had enough of this pope," and described his condom comments as "close to premeditated murder."

There you go. Not even Obama would have the balls to say something like that.

So, what can you do about it all? Can you support Spain as it announces, one day after Benedict's deadly edict, that it will donate one million condoms to Africa? Shall you join the multitude of international Facebook protests? Shall you merely sigh and shake your head at the ongoing small-mindedness of major organized religion, and wonder when we might finally evolve past it? Absolutely.

Meantime, maybe we can simply hope, when this pope's bitter, conservative reign is over and white smoke next rises from the Sistine Chapel, it will in celebration of someone who, if not exactly progressive and open-minded and full of joy at the deep pleasures of this life, will at least be, at bare minimum, not someone who so cruelly demeans it.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Will the BS Never End?


I can't pass this up. In light of Glenn Beck, et. al's., paranoid delusions....I give you an excerpt of Hunter's (as usual) excellent post from Daily Kos:
We've had a president who decided that he could revoke the citizenship of Americans based on his own say-so -- and no conservatives were worried about their loss of rights. We've had a government assert that it could spy on any communications, without warrant or cause -- and no conservatives took to the streets, alarmed at the threat to their Constitutional protections. We found out we went to war over a weapons program that didn't exist -- oops. We found out that we subjected innocent, though brown, people to imprisonment without recourse, and others to torture so cruel that it rendered them mentally incompetent. We buried the nation in a mountain of debt -- well, them's the breaks. We forked over billions of dollars in giveaways to oil companies that were already making larger profits than any other companies in the history of the world -- hell, gotta keep John Galt in caviar. None of it raised a peep from any of you, you were all fine with it. The government could do no wrong -- except not going far enough.

Beck (and those like him) is a moron. A well-to-do moron, but a moron nonetheless. Give the guy credit, he's making his money...even as a spokesman for GM, cashing his own stimulus check from Uncle Sam.
And of course, Faux News is FAUX News. As the paranoid militia-wannabe-patriot brigades snatch up guns-n-ammo at record pace, the idiotocracy that is the "Axis of Weasel " (Rush, the drug-addled gasbag, Sean Insanity, Glenn "the hemorrhoid with eyes" Beck, etc., including Michelle "harpy" Malkin) fan the flames of, um...patriotism...wagging tea bags in protest of...of...er, um...I'm not quite sure:
Friends, some former Ron Paul supporters are now being courted by "radicals" stressing a new revolution of working class Americans against Obama and his big business supporters. www.resistnet.com is one of their biggest voices. In truth, our heroic gun totin' woodsmen are actually following Washington DC public relations firm Shirley & Bannister public affairs, a front group for the Bush family and the insurance industry.

The "tough guys" being organized into Milita units to march on Washington DC are being led by a front group funded by Westinghouse Corporation, Prudential Insurance, AETNA Insurance, the DuPont family, the Forbes family, McDonald Douglas, nuclear power plant builders and about a hundred groups made up of Washington lawyers and lobbyists.

Whaaaa....?
So, you, like, mean that the "populist outrage" over Obama's agenda is...er...bullshit?
Damn.

Why should mainstream media's (FOX, Rush, Inshannity, et all) abuse of the less-educated in America go unpunished?

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"They're coming to take our guns away!"


truly great piece by Gary Kamiya, originally posted on Salon.com. sj

They're coming to take our guns away.
Cop killer Richard Poplawski is an extremist. But amid the deafening din of the right wing's anti-government rhetoric, how extreme is he?
By Gary Kamiya

Apr. 07, 2009

It would be convenient to pretend that Richard Poplawski, who killed three Pittsburgh policemen on Saturday with an AK-47, was just a right-wing nutcase. A devotee of the white supremacist Web site Stormfront, Poplawski believed that the United States was controlled by a secret Jewish cabal that had a master plan to abrogate freedom of speech and use the U.S. military to police Americans.

It would be easy for us to cordon Poplawski off, pretend that his ugly and paranoid worldview had nothing to do with the Obama hatred spouted by the American right. But the truth is that Poplawski's hateful views cannot be separated from the increasingly extreme ideology and rhetoric that characterize the contemporary American conservative movement. As his friend, Edward Perkovic, told the Associated Press, Poplawski feared "the Obama gun ban that's on the way" and "didn't like our rights being infringed upon."

Such obsessions don't come out of a vacuum. Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and the GOP have been whipping up hatred and fear of Obama and "liberal Democrats" for years. Joined by the National Rifle Association, which has run false and irresponsible ads claiming that Obama is planning to take away Americans' guns, they have encouraged and helped to create a pathological right-wing subculture in which free-floating hatred of "the government" mixes with a maniacal fetish for guns. Poplawski is the diseased fruit of that ugly tree.

click here for rest of spot-on analysis

Friday, April 3, 2009

Play ball!

Speaking of sports...it's time for that summer tradition to renew itself yet again. Opening Day is upon us.

There is no better pastime of summer than a ballgame.

Basketball is fun (especially in Cleveland this season). Football is frenetic. Hockey is insanely entertaining. Soccer is most riveting in Europe. Auto racing is nothing unless it's Formula One. Baseball is most like life. We speak its language every day in metaphor, measure our lives in innings and hope to hit a home run sometimes. It is so deeply ingrained, even the most casual fan gets the allusions. It is part of our national psyche.

And to prove it, many of us who have the delusions of grandeur participate in that most pointless of activities: fantasy baseball.

Like all things American, pretend management of a professional baseball team has actually become a million-dollar business. People actually buy baseball statistics (which are available for free) from websites, magazine publishers, etc., in order to "get the edge" over their fantasy baseball rivals. It is ludicrous and enthralling at the same time.

And I am one of them.

I did spend money to "prepare" for my draft of baseball players, all of whom are real, though I stand as much chance of actually managing them on a team as George W. Bush does of getting a Nobel Prize.

It's become commonplace to play a fantasy league at work, with 12 teams managed by colleagues (the easier to waste time by discussing stats during planning periods), and a draft day on the weekend of Opening Day (so all our injury reports from Spring Training are up to date).

Today was that day. Draft Day. Time to test one's mettle over a few cold barley-pops, all the while trying to outmaneuver the guy or gal picking before you (will he go with the masher or the speedster this round? Is my staff's WHIP better than hers?).

So here it is: My team, now known as Comrade Lenin's Red Stars (history teacher humor there)...

Catcher: Victor Martinez (CLE) a sentimental favorite
1st Base: Derrek Lee ( CHC) on the downside of a career
2nd Base: Orlando Hudson (LAD) seriously?
3rd Base: Evan Longoria (TB) a stud
Short: Stephen Drew (AZ) feh. better than most
Outfield: Ryan Braun (MIL) the uber-stud of the lineup (just stay healthy)
Outfield: Magglio Ordonez (DET) also on the downslope
Outfield: Torii Hunter (ANA) will break soon...as in injure himself
DH: Shin-Soo Choo (CLE) potential potential potential
or Chris B Young (AZ) strikeout king, but some power
or Jeff Francoeur (ATL) shoulda' coulda' woulda'
Pitching: Jake Peavey (SD) ace
Yovani Gallardo (MIL) maybe ace
Carlos Zambrano (CHC) headcase former flamethrower
Ted Lilly (CHC) solid
Manny Parra (MIL) maybe
Huston Street (COL) a closer in Colorado? Humidor, please.
Jose Valverde (AZ) solid
and the bench: Ben Francisco (OF-CLE), Jarrod Saltalamacchia (C-TEX), Zach Duke (SP-PIT), Koji Uehara (SP-BAL), Matt LaPorta (AAA-CLE)

Needless to say, the draft did not go well. The investment in time, money, effort and loss of opportunity to be in the scant sunshine of a northeast Ohio spring went for naught by round 2 as the best-laid plans were thwarted--THWARTED, I TELL YOU-- by those who picked my players, MY PLAYERS! Athletes in whom I had invested countless minutes of my precious time, wondering if this was the breakout year for a 27 year-old, or if this was the magical 3rd year for a pitcher.

All for naught.

I will be lucky to win a category, though I may compete in a few.

Sigh.

I love baseball.

"That Chick Sports Show" debuts THIS Saturday!


"That Chick Sports Show: Chicks in Sports and Chicks on Sports...and the Men Who Love to Watch."

My new, hilarious, and super-cool friend, Erica Vanstone debuts her own radio show, this saturday, April 4th, at 3:00PM eastern time! The show is called "That Chick Sports Show," and if you live in South Jersey or near Philadelphia, you can tune into 1360AM WNJC on your radio and check it out! If you can't get it on the radio, you can go here and click on 'listen now,' and get it streaming to your computer, via internet!

Here is a summary from the TCSS facebook page: "Contrary to popular belief, lots of women really dig sports—we’ve even been known to participate in them from time to time. Crazy, but true!

We do, however, think about sports differently than men. For us, it's a commitment. Not just a cheap thrill. So it’s time we had a show that explores sports the way women like to think about them: Nice 'n' slow, with some humor and sass on the side.

We’ll cover the serious and the not-so-serious side of all levels of sports. And ask the kinds of the questions men would never dare to ask...out loud!

Each week we'll check in with sports news, both locally and beyond. And we'll chat with our Dude du Jour--one of a rotating cast of local sports fans and friends who'll stop by to add his voice to the mix. (Because nothing makes a chick happier than a healthy debate with a male colleague...right?)

Whether you appreciate the subtle bouquet of sports and its subcultures, or you prefer sports trivia broken down into easily digestible chunks, "That Chick Sports Show” has a little something for every palette."

There is a lot more information on the TCSS facebook page as well, including scheduled guests for the next 4 shows! Please listen, please join the facebook fan page, and PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD! Erica is awesome and the show is gonna rock! I'm totally stoked for her!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

42 years down, 42 to go!

So yesterday was my 42nd Birthday. Thanks Mom & Dad! If I'm lucky enough to live another 42 years that will be quite enough. 84 sounds like a good age to say good-bye; I'm gonna be tired. What, you wanna live forever?

Look who else was born on March 31st: King Henry II of France (1519), Gordie Howe (1928), Barney Frank (1940), Christopher Walken (1943), Gabe Kaplan (1945), Al Gore (1948), Rhea Perlman (1948), and Angus Young (1955)!

And look who died on March 31st: Sir Isaac Newton (1727), Anne Frank (1945), Jesse Owens (1980), Brandon Lee (1993), Selena (1995), Frank Perdue (2005), and MERCIFULLY, Terri Schiavo (2005).

A few things that happened on March 31st: Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States for the first time (1918). The first election is held in Greece after World War II (1946). The first Wrestlemania, the biggest wrestling event from the WWE, takes place in Madison Square Garden in New York (1985).

Nancy Reagan grateful for President Obama's view on stem cells

in case anyone missed it, below is Nancy Reagan's official statement, soon after Obama overturned Bush's ill-informed, and ill-advised ban on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. sj

“I’m very grateful that President Obama has lifted the restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. These new rules will now make it possible for scientists to move forward. I urge researchers to make use of the opportunities that are available to them and to do all they can to fulfill the promise that stem cell research offers. Countless people, suffering from many different diseases, stand to benefit from the answers stem cell research can provide. We owe it to ourselves and to our children to do everything in our power to find cures for these diseases — and soon. As I’ve said before, time is short, and life is precious."