a funny blog entry by Michael Ian Black

by Michael Ian Black
July 18th, 2009

My Weekend So Far

Did I make gazpacho today? I did. Because I’m finally home and able to do things like make gazpacho. I also made some turkey burgers on the grill and refilled a propane tank. If it sounds like I’m very manly at home, it’s because I am. Set aside the fact that I also fluffed pillows and organized my closet. Those can be manly tasks if they are accompanied by grunts and performed while drinking a Schlitz. Although now that I think about it, gazpacho isn’t a very manly soup, even if you put extra garlic in it, so maybe I’m not as manly as I think. The propane tank was pretty macho, I guess, especially when I was lugging it from my SUV to the grill, so that counts for something.

Regardless, the point is that I am largely finished with television production for a little while, and get to spend some time at home with my family. The weather could not be better, which is why I am inside with the windows closed surfing the internet and blogging.

Some friends from New York are on their way up to my Connecticut mansion with their fantastic, amazing (snotty, ill-behaved) children. Should be fun. We’re going to loll around outside and maybe have a bonfire with s’mores later. Or maybe after the kids go to bed, we’ll decide to swing. Who knows? The point is, I’m grateful to be home.

As for my kids, they are taller than I remember. One of them, whose name escapes me at the moment, has gotten obsessed with the new Wii I bought them out of guilt. When I first bought it, I told them we were going to put a limit on the amount of time they get to play per day. I did not know when I said that, that the limit would turn out to be twenty-three hours a day. When I was a kid, I used to spend pretty much every waking moment on my old Atari system, so I know how he feels. He asked me the other day what my favorite thing to do was when I was a kid. I wanted to say, “masturbate,” but I decided to go with my second favorite thing, which was “play video games.” So I understand his enthusiasm.

Back in my day, there was no concern for the violence in video games. One of the most popular was called “Missile Command,” in which your job was to prevent a nuclear holocaust. The game ended when you failed. So every game of Missile Command ended with six cities decimated by nuclear bombs. Oh well. My son is playing Super Mario Galaxy, and every time I pass him I have to restrain myself from calling him a pussy.

So it’s a good day to be home. Sho and I are going to be on Jimmy Fallon’s show on Tuesday if you want to watch. Should be fun. Also, please don’t forget that our new show “Michael & Michael Have Issues” is on every Wednesday at 10:30 EST. I need the show to succeed because I put the Wii on layaway, and if we get cancelled that’s the first thing that’s going back.

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